Signing Off

September 27, 2011

Well… it’s been a ride.

I knew this moment would come from Day 1. But this will be my last post on In Retrospect.

Having this blog at my disposal for the past few years has been the most productive thing I’ve ever done with a computer. Except for porn. No, including porn.

I had so many thoughts stuck up in my head throughout the first 18 years of my life. Having an excuse to get SO much off of my chest was more therapeutic than you can imagine, even if it was sometimes “durr I like video games” or “derrr look what I drew in math class!”

Honestly, this website has been beyond meaningful to me. It became a piece of my identity, and to an extent it always will be. I’m proud that I was able to keep it relatively free of teenage angst, because the things I’ve posted in this journal really come from the deepest parts of my soul. Even the stupid stuff. Stupid is a part of everyone, and I’m happy that I got to share some of my stupid with you, my few but precious readers.

I knew it was time to hit the old dusty trail when I felt like I hadn’t posted in a year. In truth it has been 7 months since the last time, in which I promised a link to the student film I was acting in. As fate would have it, the website for that movie has finally just gone public. So without further ado, the 6-part epic that is What Rough Beast. It’s a pretty long film, so unless you’ve got some time to kill, put this one on the to-watch list.

I’m sure that in the future I’ll come back to this website when I’m bored, as I always do, and re-read my old blogs. Egotistical? I would call it nostalgic. I loved writing about my life and my thoughts which I’d never been able to spell out before, and now when I read an old entry I feel that same rush, like I’m living the story again. I sincerely hope that you’ll do the same, and that you’ll continue to be entertained for many years.

So, I guess that’s it. Anything I needed to wrap up? I suppose I should at least give meaning to the name of my blog.

“In retrospect…” is my absolute favorite chunk of the English language. Any opportunity to use the phrase in conversation has always given me a warm and happy feeling, and so when I had to make a name for the journal I was going to keep, I picked that.

My life is only beginning, and because of this blog I feel like I can go into the rest of it without feeling bottled up. There will always be more opinions, more anecdotes, but at least in this stage of my life, I have said all that I needed to say. I am at peace with who I am.

So this is your author, your captain, your friend Mike Cowell… signing off.


Speak: (v.) to utter words or articulate sounds with the ordinary voice; to express thoughts, opinions, or feelings orally.

[“So I had this uh, this dream the other night. Not last night, but, the night before that, I think. Or was it last night? No, wait, no, I don’t know, I think it was last night. But anyways haha, uh, yea I mean it was like, I mean, well, I don’t know, it was really cool, friggin’ awesome, it was like, uhhh, I’m not sure how to say this. Like, imagine you’re, like, I don’t know flying, cause you have powers, and like, you see a guy, and like you fly over him, but I mean, not over him just, around him? I don’t know but, in my dream I was flying and I did that, and that was my dream. It was so awesome.”]

 Write: (v.) to form characters or symbols on a surface with an instrument in order to express language in literary form.

[I was having had a dream last night. It was really cool, but I and I wanted to share<it>with you. In my dream I had <super>powers, and I was flying in my dream over this guy a person, and he called out to me, but I coudlntf couldn’t hear him. It was weird a peculiar dream indeed.]

Type: (v.) to mechanically produce characters or documents using a keyboard for a typewriter or computer.

[Do you ever have strange dreams where you’re doing something amazing, but you don’t even realize how amazing it is, because you’re in the dream? I experienced this the other night, when I dreamed that I had superpowers and was flying around my town saving lives, as well as testing my powers by setting off nuclear bombs and playing happily within the blast, completely unharmed. Oddly enough, it didn’t even register that such a situation was out of the ordinary, and so I thought nothing of it when a man on the street yelled to me as a flew around him, telling me to stop setting off nuclear bombs. I couldn’t hear him, yet somehow I knew what he was saying, so I stopped. “Whatever,” I said, “they’re just bombs.” That guy was a buzz kill.]

Despite the drawbacks involved with text, such as loss of emotional cues and difficulty with sarcasm, typing is my favorite way of getting my point across. Unlike with speaking, I have all the time in the world to think about what I’m going to say. Writing has a more personal touch, but the fact that I can’t backspace makes things way more stressful. Sure I can erase pencil marks, but that makes me look like a stupid mistake-making idiot. When I type I can create the illusion of flawless grammar and spelling, as well as go back and change my phrasing later if something looks awkward.

I think that’s the reason I enjoy having this blog so much. It’s the easiest way to get out what I’m really thinking. And I can do this: (>0_0)>